Suit-ability

Men and women shop for their bathing suits in completely different ways.

When a woman needs a new bathing suit she corrals a trusted friend - who probably also needs a suit - and begins making the rounds to the local clothing stores. Each suit is vetted by color and size, each shopper picks out several they like in a few different sizes, and only then do they begin the serious work.

As the prospective purchaser tries on each candidate, she makes all the moves that she might make in a pool to make sure the suit doesn’t ride up, cut into her shoulders, cause rolls of fat to appear, or display any part or her body that she does not wish to display. It is the job of her confidant to point out any problems that she may have missed in the three-way mirror and to be honest about how flattering the suit is.

Finally one or two suits are chosen and purchased.

It doesn’t take long at the local pool to determine that a significant number of men buy their bathing suits by going into a sports equipment store – alone - and finding the pool supplies and bathing trunks section. There they locate a pile of Speedos and buy the size they wore in high school several decades earlier. They do not look in any mirror. The first time they put it on is when they go to the pool.

One can only assume the men wearing comfortable bathing trunks that flatter them are married and their wives go with them when they shop. Or the ladies just buy the trunks and present them to their husbands as a fait accompli . Or they have very understanding - or bossy - sisters.

Whatever. Thanks, ladies.